Total Pageviews

Friday, 16 March 2012



   Once again it's Friday. I've waken up early.Actually I haven't slept properly the whole night. This evening I will go home for the weekend as usual. I am already in jitters. I am again and again checking my watch and irritatedly feel that the time is moving at the snail's speed.
     This whole week I've been nervous since the moment I saw the photos posted by Mr. Jim Brandano on his blog-"JP Brandano-Florida's Photographers".He is a wonderful photographer and I've become his fan.
So, on Monday during the lunch break I surfed through his new blogpost-'Father and Daughter'....these were the photos taken on the occasion of his niece Sheena's wedding.
    After seeing all those sweet pics of the beautiful bride in her bridal attire I came across the photo of an old man trying to choke back his tears. That was the bride's father,Mr. Vincent Brandano! the subsequent photos  had captured his fatherly love for his daughter in a subtle yet very touching way.
   Suddenly he reminded me of my dad and I was overwhelmed with mixed emotions. My dad's memories rushed to me and I felt very lonely without him. A lump arose in my throat and tears welled up in my eyes. I just couldn't sit there with my friends and rushed to my hostel-room and wept and wept, giving way to uncontrollable tears.....
 These days  a sort of  'cold war' is going on between me and my dad. He is vehemently opposed to my love for my beau Albert. In order to reason with him once again I had  written  a poem- 'O, My dear Shepherd!' subtly addressed to him and mom had brought it to his notice.
   As I could see from his reaction last Sunday he seemed to be a wee-bit moved. He even asked me in a lighter vein,"What should I call you now,'my dove' or 'my lamb'?"
 But thereafter things were back to normal as he studiously avoided the topic of Albert. And when he came to see me off  on the station on Monday morning, he said in his usual gruff tone,"My dove,just concentrate on your studies. After this 'Lent Semester' you still have one more semester and that will be very important."
    So, I came back to Cambridge in a very low mood and then came these photos of Sheena and her dad!...
   For a moment  I visualised myself as a bride and tried to imagine how my dad would look at such occasion?
  This musing opened a floodgate of memories of my dad: How he used to pamper me in my childhood. how he would carry me on his shoulders, clean my mud-smeared knees,reorganise my room when I left it in a mess, with things scattered all over, how he used to put me t sleep by telling stories, how worried he used to get even when I was participating in usual school matches, and how once he fainted on seeing my oozing blood when I had injured myself by dragging the window down on my thumb! And mind you, he is a surgeon who regularly performs tricky heart-surgeries without even a drop of sweat on his brow!....
 And then a strange thought came to my mind. I will never marry! I won't ever become a bride because I don't want to see  my dad in  tears. He will just break down while giving me away! And I too won't be able to part away from him! Suddenly my love for Albert and Albert himself seemed immaterial to me and I just wanted to rush back to my dad to be in his arms....
      And yet- this whole week I haven't phoned him even once! My fingers twitch, yet I put away my cellphone every now and then with a sigh.
   Even now I am thinking to myself, what should I do when I'll enter into my house and see my dad anxiously waiting for me?Should I rush to him, hug him tightly and shed all these tears that I've held back over this week?And then what will he do? Will he hold me close, move his fingers gently though my hair and kiss me lightly on my forehead and mumble, "My dove!" as he used to do some months ago?..
     Or, will I just stare at him for a moment and then walk past him to my room without saying much and he too will remain fidgeting with the 'remote' of TV and once again our house will be filled with our cold vibes?
     Oh, God!I am really in jitters!!


  1. Hello.
    I always feel a sense of loss whenever I read posts that involve dads. My dad died when I was in my teens & when I read about & see others with their dads, I realize how much I miss him. My dad was not a very expressive man & he had a lot of stress in life being the only breadwinner in our extended family. One thing I do know for sure is that even though our time together was very short, my dad loved me. My mom always tells me how much I look like him.

    Please, lose your foolish pride and give your dad a call. I'm sure deep down, that's what he's waiting for. When you see him, throw yourself in his arms, cry all you want, but tell him you love him. Life is just too short.

    Thanks for sharing this touching post.

  2. Hope for the best Eliza...believe in yourself and in your love for your dad.Everything will work out.

  3. Hello again.
    I recently celebrated my 1st Blogoversay & to thank my friends & readers, I’m spotlighting the blog links of 4 followers every week. You have been chosen this week. Please stop by & claim your award. More information & award here...